Return To Ocean Park
by Red Witch
Summary: Archer and the gang go back to an aquarium themed park for a fun day out.


**A narwhal took the disclaimer saying I don't own any Archer characters. This crazy fic references my other story Archer and Pam's Day out. This is what happened when Archer and the gang…**

 **Return To Ocean Park**

"I can't believe you talked me into this," Lana groaned as she pushed AJ's stroller.

"Come on Lana," Archer said as he walked with them. "You always say how we should do stuff as a family. It's a family outing!"

"Couple things wrong with that…" Lana pointed behind her. "Starting with Numbers One through Five…"

Behind her were several members of the Figgis Agency. "So where's the bar around here?" Cyril grumbled.

"We're gonna look at fish and get wasted!" Cheryl screamed in delight. "But not in that order, right?"

"Not if I can help it," Pam was munching on a box of something. "Yum! Popcorn shrimp!"

"Now you said that there were some cute guys that worked here right, Krieger?" Ray asked.

"Oh yeah," Krieger waved. "I can get Ahab to introduce you to 'em. Most of them work at the bars."

"Then I'm good," Ray grinned.

"Lana, you do realize by now these people are practically family, right?" Archer snorted. "In some cases, even **more** than our actual family."

"Oh dear God…" Lana was stunned. "You're right."

"I know," Archer shrugged. "Frightening but true."

"CHERYL DON'T JUMP IN THE TANK!" Ray shouted as he and Cyril held Cheryl back. "You're not a mermaid!"

"Well I could be!" Cheryl fumed.

"Yeah if I give her some extra DNA and construct some gills around…" Krieger began.

"NO!" Ray and Cyril shouted.

"Pam put down the damn shrimp and help us here!" Cyril snapped.

"I'll help when I'm damn good and ready!" Pam finished up the shrimp.

"But if you ever tell them that I will **deny** it," Archer said. "Even if I have to shoot someone to prove it. Preferably one of them."

"As will I," Lana admitted as Pam finally finished her shrimp.

"Honey you don't want to be a mermaid," Ray told Cheryl. "Scales are out of season."

"Damn it," Cheryl stopped fighting. "You're right."

"Another crisis averted!" Pam grinned.

"No, thanks to you!" Cyril snapped.

"I brought the shrimp!" Pam defended.

"Which you didn't let any of us have!" Krieger snapped.

"Oh I was hoping you wouldn't have noticed that," Pam frowned.

"Kind of hard not to when you're protecting the shrimp like Queen Kong protects her bananas!" Cheryl snapped.

"There are bananas?" Pam asked.

"Ugh," Lana groaned. "Some family **this is!"**

"And not to be technical Lana," Archer said. "Anything over two is more than a couple. Just saying."

"I am just going to say this once," Lana said.

" _Are you_?" Archer interrupted.

"I think this is a bad place to take a child," Lana said.

"Lana it's an aquarium park. You can't get any more family friendly than that," Archer said. "Well I guess you could if it was an aquarium populated by only stuffed animals. And that cartoon girl that's a toy doctor. That would be awesome for AJ!"

"And besides," Krieger said. "My clone Ahab got us these tickets for free."

"Can't argue with free, Lana," Cyril shrugged.

"See? Even Cyril knows that this is a good deal," Archer said as they walked by a huge tank with a giant octopus in it. "What's the worst that can happen?"

Following them was a man. He giggled and waved at the octopus. Then the octopus grabbed him with his tentacles and pulled him underwater into the tank.

"Trust me," Archer said, completely oblivious to the scene behind him. "AJ is perfectly safe here. I mean you did put a tracking chip in her shoes right?"

"Yes," Lana said.

"Then we're good," Archer shrugged.

"If AJ can keep them on her feet," Lana noticed AJ playing with her shoes. "No, AJ. We keep our shoes on!"

"You know I didn't wear shoes for the first three years of my life," Pam spoke.

"What a surprise," Cyril drawled.

"My sister Edie didn't wear 'em until she was four," Pam said. "Well she couldn't until she had that operation. She was born with cloven feet. Toes were all melded together. Had to surgically take them apart. And get rid of the extra ones."

"So much about your family background scares the hell out of me," Cyril groaned.

"Me too," Archer admitted. "I hear splashing. Is there a pool around here?"

"It's probably dolphins or something," Ray said. Unaware that the octopus had captured another man and was dragging him into the tank as well.

"Wait where's Ms. Archer?" Pam looked around.

"I convinced Ron to take her out for the day so we could relax," Archer waved.

"Oh good," Pam nodded. "She can be such a buzzkill."

Ray nodded in agreement. "She'd rather kill us with a buzz saw than spend the day with us."

"Which is weird because she could have fired us so long ago but she didn't," Cheryl shrugged.

"Anyway, it will be nice for Mother to have a quiet day away from us," Archer shrugged.

Meanwhile somewhere across town in a very upscale mall…

"What do you mean my credit card has been declined?" Mallory was shouting at a shop girl at the counter of a very fancy store. "How dare you insinuate I can't pay my bills?!"

"Oh boy…" Ron winced as Mallory began to argue with the clerk. "This will not end well…"

Back at Ocean Park…

"You have to admit this is one of our better outings," Cyril remarked to Lana as they came out of an aquarium exhibit. "It's actually going well…"

"Day's not over yet," Lana said as she pushed the stroller. "Where's Archer?"

"He went into the gift shop over there," Pam walked over. She had a daquiri type drink in her hand.

"Isn't that also a bar?" Cyril asked.

"Yeah. What's your point?" Pam asked.

"Didn't the exhibit we just come out of have a **bar** in it?" Cyril asked.

"Again, what's your point?" Pam asked as she took a drink. "What? Different exhibits. Different drinks."

"So basically, this place is Sea World for drunks," Lana sighed. "Lovely…"

"It's not that bad Lana," Ray said as he walked over with a daiquiri drink in his hand. "AJ is loving this. We got in for free. And thanks to Ahab we are getting free drinks and half off any souvenirs."

"As well as a free tour guide," Pam pointed to Krieger and his clone, Ahab. Ahab looked exactly like Krieger only he was wearing an orange uniform. Both were talking and laughing.

"And that is why it's never a good idea to give polar bears opposable thumbs," Ahab told Krieger. "Trust me. I learned that the hard way."

"Well that's a time saver," Krieger nodded.

Lana sighed. "I don't know if hanging around this place is such a good idea."

Cyril gave her a look. "Lana the way our detective agency is going this might end up as a second career for us!"

" **Second** career?" Ray snorted. "I think we're on our third or fourth by now."

"Oh God you're right," Lana groaned.

"Dada!" AJ squealed as Archer ran up.

"Where have you been?" Lana asked.

"Getting some stuff from the gift shop," Archer grinned. "Man, Ahab's discount card got me some good deals!"

"That's a way to be a smart shopper," Pam said.

"Look AJ!" Archer waved a plush toy in front of AJ before giving it to her. "Daddy got you a narwhal! That's a unicorn whale!"

"It took you all this time just to get a stuffed animal?" Lana asked as AJ took her new toy and squealed with delight.

"No," Archer waved. "I had to put the cases of Glengoolie Coolers in the van. Can you believe it? I got four cases for the price of two! And that's not counting Ahab's discount! What a bargain!"

"Unbelievable," Lana grumbled.

"I know!" Archer grinned, taking it the wrong way. "And I was able to get a couple of Glengoolie Crystal Blue Light's too! I should do all my shopping here."

"Well at least you'll have enough to drink this weekend," Cyril said sarcastically.

"WHOO HOO!"

"What was **that?** " Ray blinked.

"The new water slide ride is open," Ahab said.

"Since when does this park have a water slide?" Lana blinked.

"Since Ahab made it about an hour ago," Krieger smiled.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

SPLAT!

"Oooooohhh!" Pam winced. "That's gotta hurt!"

"Well right into a wall yeah," Ray winced.

"I may have miscalculated the trajectory a tad," Ahab remarked.

"I'm taking AJ to the kiddie tide pool to see the starfish," Lana sighed.

"Good idea," Pam said. "I'll join you."

"Let's go by the sharks first," Archer suggested.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

SPLAT!

"Because ironically that might be safer," Archer winced.

"Another good idea," Pam said as they left.

"Guys," Ahab spoke into a walkie talkie. "86 the Krieger-Lunge before…"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"

SPLAT!

"Someone else hits the wall," Ahab sighed. "Over and out."

"Let's get out of here before AJ is scarred for life," Lana groaned. AJ was too interested in her toy to notice the flying bodies.

"Hey are we forgetting anything?" Pam asked as they left.

"Uh no," Krieger scoffed. "There's plenty of drinks near the shark tank."

"Good," Pam said as they walked away.

Unfortunately, they were forgetting something. Or should I say someone?

"He he he," Cheryl grinned as she held up a set of keys. "I have no idea how I got these keys. Or what they open. But it's gonna be fun to find out!"

Meanwhile…

"You're going to find out what a bullet tastes like if you cut up my card!" Mallory had stuck a gun in the shop girl's mouth much to the horror of several onlookers.

"And that is my cue to go hide…" Ron inched away as mall security arrived. "Oh look security…"

Back at Ocean Park…

"Where is security?" Cyril asked. "Shouldn't they be doing something about **this?** "

"They are," Ray remarked casually.

Indeed they were. Two security guards were at the head of a drunken conga line.

"Hey you gotta admit," Archer laughed. "This place knows how to party!"

He was by some in ground pools and tanks with Cyril, Ray, Ahab and Krieger. They were standing around drinking daquiris and watching the sights.

"Yeah but if Lana sees this she's gonna lecture you again," Cyril pointed out.

"Like she needs an excuse," Archer shrugged as he took a drink.

"Shouldn't you be with your daughter?" Ray asked as he finished his drink.

"Shouldn't **you** be…?" Archer blinked. "Pick a gay verb."

"Voting Republican?" Ahab suggested.

"Actually Ahab I was thinking along the lines of something with leather chaps…" Archer admitted.

"AAAAH!"

SPLASH!

"And another idiot falling into another tank," Ahab looked behind him. "Oh it's okay. It's only the parrot fish tank. He'll be fine. See? He's already getting out."

"Wow you'd think there would be some kind of guard railing or something so people wouldn't fall into the pools?" Krieger asked.

"It's coming up in our next budget meeting," Ahab admitted.

"You didn't think it would be a good idea to do that **first**?" Ray asked.

"We-eell," Ahab scratched his head. "Apparently, a lot of money went into the gift shops and the bars."

"It shows," Archer said. "They're top notch."

"And we were going to do it this time but a lot of that money went to designing our mechanical shark," Ahab said.

"Wait, don't you have **actual** sharks?" Cyril asked. "Why do you need a mechanical one?"

"Because it's easier to make a mechanical shark you can program than training a real one," Ahab said. "Trust me on this."

"Why would you need to make a mechanical shark in the first place?" Cyril asked.

"For our new show that I'm creating!" Ahab grinned. "Jaws: The Musical!"

"Cool," Archer grinned.

"I play Oceanographer Matt Hooper," Ahab grinned.

"Neat," Archer nodded. "A bit of advice, don't make any sequels."

"Depends on how much merchandise we can sell," Ahab checked his pockets. "By the way has anyone seen my keys?"

"I thought the whole point of you coming here was to spend time with Lana and your daughter?" Ray asked.

"Who are you?" Archer quipped. "The Department of Child Services? AJ is fine with Lana and Pam. Besides I have a tracking device on her. Remember?"

"Child safety first," Krieger remarked.

"Seriously those keys are kind of important," Ahab said. "They can open pretty much any cage in the park."

Archer pulled out his phone. "See? The tracker is synched to this app on my phone. With it I can find her anywhere. And according to this she's right…behind me."

Archer turned behind him. There was a very huge pool of water with no guard rail right behind him. "Uh oh…"

"This does not bode well," Krieger blinked.

"YOU THINK?" Ray shouted.

"AJ! NO!" Archer screamed as he dropped his drink. He dove into the tank.

"WE'RE COMING HONEY!" Ray dove in with Archer.

"THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR PHRASING!" Archer shouted.

"I'M THE CERTIFIED SCIENCE GUY!" Ahab dove in. "I GET TO SAVE HER!"

"SCIENTIST!" Archer shouted. "YOU'RE A **SCIENTIST!** YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CALLED?"

"Oh right," Ahab said. "I forgot."

"Does **not** give me any confidence here!" Ray shouted.

"Me neither!" Archer shouted. "AJ! WHERE ARE YOU? DADDY'S HERE! AJ!" He dove under water.

"Hey guys!" Pam ran up to them. "Have you seen AJ's shoes? The kid pulled them off again when Lana wasn't looking."

"Oh…" Krieger did a double take.

"Bad timing Pam," Cyril said.

"AJ! AJ!" Archer dove up holding AJ's shoes. "AJ WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Guys," Cyril shouted. "AJ is fine! She just threw her shoes into the tank!"

"Wow," Archer blinked. "Kid's got some arm on her."

"Uh she may be fine but we're not," Ray gulped.

"Why?" Archer asked.

" **That!"** Ahab gulped.

"Oh…" Archer blinked as a large shark fin was swimming towards them. "That's not good."

"Holy shark snacks!" Pam gasped.

"Oh this will not end well," Cyril winced. "Unless the shark only goes after Archer…"

"I hate it when there's a shark attack in the middle of the day!" Archer groaned.

"It will be all right," Ahab said. "I can do a shark mind meld!"

"That is **not** a thing," Ray said.

"It could totally be a thing!" Archer shouted. "Are you a shark specialist?"

"I know enough that that thing considers us lunch!" Ray snapped. "And honestly I don't want to be eaten a **second time**!"

"And I do not want to be eaten a **first time**!" Archer shouted. "Unless you count leeches and mosquitoes. And those parasites I picked up that time in Mongolia. God what was in that yak meat?"

"Easy Sharky!" Ahab swam out to meet the shark. "My mind, to your mind."

"And my feet to solid ground!" Ray grabbed Archer. "HANG ON!"

ZZZZZZZZZZZOOM!

"Are you guys okay?" Pam gasped as Archer and Ray made it to ground.

"Wet and a slight case of whiplash but yeah, I'm fine," Archer coughed. "But I lost one of AJ's shoes. Oh well. I think she's growing out of them already."

"Wow," Cyril blinked. "Ray I didn't know you could run so fast you could run on water!"

"Neither did I," Ray groaned.

"Wait where's Ahab?" Krieger looked.

"Uh…" Ray looked behind him.

SPLASH!

"AAAAAAH!" Ahab screamed.

"OH MY GOD!" Someone screamed.

"Oh that is not good," Pam winced at the carnage in the pool.

"Guess you really can't train a shark," Krieger blinked. "Pity."

"So much for that shark mind meld," Archer blinked.

"Told you it wasn't a thing," Ray said.

"Well I believe you **now** ," Archer said. "And I apologize."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"OH GOD LOOK AT ALL THE BLOOD!" Someone shouted.

"Guess nobody told Sharky that Hooper is supposed to **survive** the shark attack," Cyril groaned.

"Maybe he thought Ahab was playing Quint?" Krieger suggested.

"Should we do something?" Cyril gulped.

"Yes," Archer said. "We should walk away and get a drink. While Ahab's discount is still good."

"But…" Cyril said as they walked away.

"Just keep walking Cyril," Pam sighed. "Just keep walking."

"It's what I should have done years ago when I first met you people," Cyril groaned.

CRUNCH! SMASH! CRUNK! SMASH! CRUNK! CRUSH! CRUNCH!

"What is **that**?" Cyril yelled. "It sounds like something mechanical is trying to eat the ground!"

"It is!" Ray pointed. "Look!"

In the distance people were running and screaming as a mechanical shark was flopping and chomping everything in sight. Currently it was trying to eat a park bench and wrecking another one with its tail.

"A mechanical shark is rampaging through a park?" Archer gasped. "Boy this sounds really familiar to me for some reason."

"We're gonna need a bigger boat," Cyril remarked. Everyone looked at him. "Well **somebody** had to say it!"

"Wenk! Wenk! Wenk! Wenk!"

"Who says 'wenk'?" Archer asked. Then a couple of penguins walked by. "Oh. Did not know that."

"Guess you don't watch Adventure Time huh?" Pam asked.

"I think Cheryl found Ahab's keys," Krieger remarked.

"MARCH MY PENGUIN ARMY!" Cheryl shouted cheerfully. "MARCH I SAY!"

"I think that's a safe bet," Pam sighed. "Damn it. I knew we forgot something."

"I can walk like a penguin! HA HA HA!" Cheryl called out.

"Well at least Carol only let loose penguins and not anything dangerous," Archer shrugged.

"Like a polar bear?" Ray gulped.

"Yeah or…" Archer did a double take. "CAROL! NO!"

"BE FREE! BE FREE! HA HA HA HA!" Cheryl cackled madly.

"RRRRRRRRRRARRRRRRR!"

"And now there's a polar bear rampaging through the park," Archer groaned.

"Technically it's not rampaging," Krieger corrected him. "Just very calmly walking out of its cage."

"RRRRRRRRAAARRRRRRRRR!"

"AAAAHHH! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! POLAR BEAR!" People screamed.

"RARRRRRRRRRRR!"

"Okay **now** it's rampaging," Krieger gulped.

"RARRRRRR!"

SMASH! CRASH!

"RARRRRR!"

CLUNK! SMASH!

"And now the polar bear is fighting the mechanical shark," Archer blinked.

"That is something you do **not** see every day," Ray admitted.

"That's something you don't see every hundred something days," Cyril remarked.

"Huh," Krieger blinked. "Polar bears don't like robot sharks. Who knew?"

"Lana is never going to let me hear the end of this once she finds out," Archer groaned.

Just then they noticed somebody else being dragged by large tentacles into another pool. "AAAAHHH!" That person screamed as he went under.

"Oh that is a lawsuit just waiting to happen," Cyril winced.

"Where the hell is security?" Ray shouted.

"Actually Ray," Archer gulped. "That guy that is being murdered by an octopus **is** security."

"Oh, yeah," Ray blinked. "So it is."

"AAAAAHH!"

"WENK! WENK!"

"And so are those guys being pecked by penguins," Archer blinked. "It's never a good sign when a security guard is crying."

"Archer," Cyril gulped. "Should we be running for our lives now?"

"That's actually a good question Cyril," Archer gulped. "And the answer is: Yes. Yes we should."

And they did.

Meanwhile on the other side of the park.

"See AJ! Look at the pretty fish!" Lana crooned as she held her daughter to look at a large tank. "What is taking Pam so long? All she has to do is use the tracking app on the phone to find your shoes."

Lana then noticed something else. "And why are people screaming and running? What's that chomping sound?"

"LANA!" Archer was heard shouting. "LANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Oh God…" Lana rolled her eyes. **"WHAT?"**

"RAY! PAM! GET LANA AND AJ OUT OF HERE!" Archer screamed as he ran towards them.

"Pam! You get the baby! I'll get Lana!" Ray shouted.

"What about Cheryl?" Pam asked.

"Who cares about Carol?" Archer snapped. "She can get her own ride!"

"What's going on now?" Lana groaned. "Why are people screaming?"

"Don't…ask," Cyril panted.

"WHY ARE YOU WET?" Lana shouted. "WHY ARE YOU TWO WET?"

"THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR PHRASING LANA!" Archer shouted. "Grab them! Get to the van!"

"Pam what is…?" Lana did a double take as she handed AJ to Pam. "Are those penguins attacking a security guard?"

"Trip's over! We're getting out of here!" Archer panted.

"OH MY GOD!" Someone screamed. "THE MECHANICAL SHARK JUST TORE THAT POLAR BEAR'S LEG OFF!"

"WHAT?" Lana gasped.

"Hang on honey!" Ray grabbed Lana and took off at full speed.

"Ray! Slow down!" Lana gasped.

Then she saw a wounded polar bear nearby. "RAY SPEED UP!" Lana gasped.

"GET TO THE CHOPPA!" Pam shouted as she ran with AJ, who was giggling like crazy. "I MEAN THE VAN!"

"WHY AM I CARRYING ALL OF AJ'S STUFF?" Cyril shouted as he ran by. He was carrying the stroller, baby bag and a few things.

"BECAUSE YOU ARE THE DESIGNATED PACK MULE!" Archer shouted as the others ran by.

"Hey guys!" Cheryl ran up to them. "Guess what I did? And why are we running?"

"TO GET AWAY FROM **YOU**!" Cyril shouted.

"RARRR!"

"As well as a very angry wounded polar bear!" Cyril shouted as the gang ran for their lives.

"I **TOLD** YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA!" Lana was heard shouting.

"OH SHUT YOUR BLOWHOLE!" Archer shouted back.

About an hour later, far away from the crime scene…

"Well that was an experience I **never** want to have again," Lana groaned as the Figgis Agency recovered on the beach. They were all sitting around on blankets and a campfire. Krieger's van was nearby.

"Considering the odds of Ocean Park closing I don't think **anyone** is going to have that experience ever again," Archer sighed. His hair was still wet and he had stripped down to his underwear.

"A polar bear rampage," Cyril groaned. "A penguin uprising. An angry octopus. A fake shark attack and a **real** shark attack. That was insane even for **us!"**

"I'd like to state for the record that technically what happened wasn't **all** our fault," Archer told Lana. "I mean who makes a mechanical shark without anchoring it? Or having better controls?"

"Looking at you Krieger!" Ray glared at Krieger. He was also stripped down to his navy blue briefs.

"That one wasn't one of **mine!"** Krieger protested. "It was Ahab who did that!"

"Oh yeah," Archer realized. "Sorry about Ahab."

"Eh, it's okay," Krieger shrugged. "The life cycle of my clones is usually pretty short anyway. Interesting but short."

"And it's not like this hasn't happened at least a dozen times before," Cyril groaned.

"Technically more like a dozen dozens," Krieger shrugged. "But yeah. I'm kind of used to it by now."

"Oh God," Lana realized. "So am I!"

She didn't notice that AJ had put down her narwhal doll and was now happily teething on a bottle of unopened scotch.

"Look at the bright side Lana," Pam said as she and Ray were cooking several fish on a large grill. "We get to end the day on the beach with a clambake!"

"Those aren't clams," Cyril realized. "Okay where did you guys get the grill?"

"You can rent them from the beach house down there," Ray pointed.

"Wait that looks closed," Lana realized. "And this beach is mostly deserted."

"That's why we broke into it and borrowed what we needed," Pam said. "What? It's not like we're not gonna put it back!"

"Is that shark meat on the grill?" Archer did a double take. "Ray…?"

"What?" Ray asked. "It tried to eat us! Turnabout is fair play!"

"Did the lobsters try to eat you too?" Lana noticed what else was on the grill.

"Oh please!" Pam waved. "A lobster's favorite meal is **other lobsters**! It's basically the Hannibal Lecter of the sea!"

"Oh God…" Lana groaned.

"Lana it's a free meal," Cyril sighed. "That's all I'm going to say."

"Yeah until the cops catch us," Lana groaned.

Archer rolled his eyes. "Lana between the rampaging mechanical shark, the escaped three legged polar bear and penguins as well as all those roving gangs running amok in the city I think the police have bigger problems than worrying about a borrowed grill and some illegal seafood."

"Hang on," Cyril blinked. "When did you two go back and get the seafood?"

"Well Ray used his super speed and…" Pam began.

"Pam don't say anything more," Lana spoke up. "I'd like to feign ignorance at the trial."

"There isn't going to be any trial! God Lana!" Archer rolled his eyes. "Nobody got arrested! Everything's fine."

Just then Lana's phone rang. "Hello? Ron?" Lana asked as she answered it. "Yeah Archer's here. Wait if you wanted to talk to Archer why did you call **my phone**? Stupid question. Okay yeah. I'll put him on. Archer…"

"What?" Archer took the phone. "Hey Ron…What? Are you **serious?** Well where is she **now?** Oh boy. Yeah. Ohhh…No, I get why you pretended that you weren't with her. I do that all the time. Okay. Okay. Fine. Well why can't **you** …? _Seriously?_ Yeah, I get that. Okay I'll go bail her out. Eventually…Bye Ron."

"What happened?" Cyril asked.

"Apparently, Mother has been arrested by the mall police," Archer groaned. "She threw a hissy fit when her credit card was declined."

"What kind of hissy fit?" Ray asked.

"The kind where she pointed a gun at the checkout girl when her card was confiscated," Archer groaned. "Good news, the store isn't pressing charges."

"How did Ron swing that?" Lana was stunned.

"Apparently, this has happened before at this store," Archer said. "You would not believe how many rich women in this town own guns. But…"

"She's banned from the store, isn't she?" Ray put it together.

"She's banned from the **entire mall** ," Archer corrected. "And they're expecting a bribe of ten thousand dollars to let Mother go."

"Ten thousand **dollars?** " Cyril shouted. "What about Ron?"

"He decided he'd rather spend his money in the bar across from the mall," Archer said. "Can't say I blame him."

"Does our agency even **have** ten thousand dollars?" Ray asked.

"Barely," Cyril admitted. "If we go without electricity for a few weeks."

"Oh boy," Lana winced. "So now we have to go bail Mallory out. A perfect end to a perfect day."

"I know, right?" Cheryl giggled.

"Can we at least wait until after we eat?" Cyril groaned. "I don't want to be screamed at for no reason on an empty stomach."

"I'd rather face that damn shark again," Ray said. "Or the polar bear."

"Me too," Archer groaned.


End file.
